Sunday, June 28, 2015

FMF: Dream


Dreams can mean things we see while we are sleeping. I have strange dreams while pregnant, like the one where my husband turned into a giraffe...

Dreams can mean things we wish for or hope for. Right now my dream is to hold a living, breathing, squirming, screaming baby in my arms and actually get to bring her home.

Dreams can turn into nightmares. I've lived through two of that kind. Twice I have dreamed of bringing home a new baby and ended up with empty arms and two holes in my heart.

I find in these last few weeks of pregnancy that the fear is beginning to creep up again. I do not want this beautiful dream to change into a fearsome nightmare yet again. I find myself over-analyzing every tiny symptom, questioning whether or not I should go in to Labor and Delivery for each little thing.

I am having to remind myself several times daily that I need to choose FAITH over FEAR. I need to hold on to the beautiful dream, and take the nightmare I fear to the Lord in prayer and leave it at His feet. I need to repeat Philippians 4:6 to myself again and again: Do NOT be anxious about ANYthing, but in EVERYthing by prayer and petition, with THANKSgiving, present your requests to God.

Friday, June 5, 2015

FMF: The Gift of Discomfort

Joining Kate for a 5-minute free write called Five Minute Friday. This week's prompt: Gift.


Life truly is a gift. And after experiencing loss, the preciousness of the gift shines through even brighter.

I am currently 32 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby, whom I have nicknamed Chickadee.

32 weeks pregnant is not all pleasant.

I am getting more and more tired, yet finding it hard to get comfortable enough to sleep.

My emotions are all over the place.

Everything I eat gives me heartburn.

I wake up a million times a night to pee.

My hips are starting to ache, and by the end of the day my feet and ankles are swollen and sore.

And all of this is a beautiful gift!

I love the blessing of each and every discomfort and pain and difficulty because each one is due to the precious little gift that is growing in my womb. I will gladly take every one of these and more knowing that each day Chickadee is making Mommy uncomfortable is another day she is here on earth with me, growing and getting bigger and stronger and closer to being a squirmy little screaming bundle of joy in my arms.

I thank and praise my gracious loving Father for the beautiful gift of third trimester discomforts!