Well, it happened.
The day I feared would come ever since I got a positive pregnancy test.
On Monday, I started bleeding.
At first I tried to write it off as just irritation from a combination of having a yeast infection and having been intimate, but then the clots started coming.
I never had any physical pain. It was over quickly and peacefully, at home. No emergency room visits and cold, hard hospital bed and insensitive doctors. From the time the clots started until it was all over was only about 2 hours. I am grateful for that.
I am also grateful knowing where my baby is - with big sister Mikayla, and our Heavenly Father. I don't know if this baby was a boy or girl as it was too early, only 8 weeks, so I chose the name Selah.
Selah.
A pause. A rest. A time to reflect on what has come before and anticipate what is to come next. A time to praise God for His goodness and faithfulness that endure forever.
Selah. A reminder that God in on His throne.
And so in place of a lingering rainbow I am plunged once more into the midst of the storm, but I know where to look for my lighthouse. I know where the buoy is that will lift me up and keep me from drowning. I know a loving Father who will shelter me under His wings until the storm has passed, and then whisper His tender mercies to me as I huddle in my cave in the after-math until I have found the strength to venture forth again.
My first daughter, "JuneBug," is five and starting Kindergarten. My second daughter, Mikayla Sophie, was stillborn at 22 weeks gestation on April 13, 2014. I started this blog as a space to sort out my feelings, and hopefully give encouragement and comfort to others at the same time. It is a work in progress, as am I. I know my heart is under construction, and in His time God will make it something beautiful, but right now it's pretty much a mess.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Selah - Waiting for us in Heaven
Labels:
Faith,
heaven,
Hope,
miscarriage,
Peace,
pregnancy loss,
storm
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I am so very sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace and comfort during this time. <3
ReplyDeleteThank you. That means a lot, especially from someone who knows what it is like :(.
DeleteI am so sorry for your losses. No one should have to go through the loss of two babies. my heart breaks for you. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
ReplyDelete