Sunday, June 28, 2015

FMF: Dream



Dreams.

Dreams can mean things we see while we are sleeping. I have strange dreams while pregnant, like the one where my husband turned into a giraffe...

Dreams can mean things we wish for or hope for. Right now my dream is to hold a living, breathing, squirming, screaming baby in my arms and actually get to bring her home.

Dreams can turn into nightmares. I've lived through two of that kind. Twice I have dreamed of bringing home a new baby and ended up with empty arms and two holes in my heart.

I find in these last few weeks of pregnancy that the fear is beginning to creep up again. I do not want this beautiful dream to change into a fearsome nightmare yet again. I find myself over-analyzing every tiny symptom, questioning whether or not I should go in to Labor and Delivery for each little thing.

I am having to remind myself several times daily that I need to choose FAITH over FEAR. I need to hold on to the beautiful dream, and take the nightmare I fear to the Lord in prayer and leave it at His feet. I need to repeat Philippians 4:6 to myself again and again: Do NOT be anxious about ANYthing, but in EVERYthing by prayer and petition, with THANKSgiving, present your requests to God.


2 comments:

  1. I am sorry for your loss, that is so heart breaking. I hope you have a good friend to talk to and I am glad you can write.

    ReplyDelete
  2. losing babies... that's a hard one to walk through. I still remember my lost ones. Someday... someday i'll see them again, perfectly holy... that will be a good thing.

    May this pregnancy go well for you.

    ReplyDelete

Please leave a comment, but remember to play nice!