Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts
Sunday, June 28, 2015
FMF: Dream
Dreams.
Dreams can mean things we see while we are sleeping. I have strange dreams while pregnant, like the one where my husband turned into a giraffe...
Dreams can mean things we wish for or hope for. Right now my dream is to hold a living, breathing, squirming, screaming baby in my arms and actually get to bring her home.
Dreams can turn into nightmares. I've lived through two of that kind. Twice I have dreamed of bringing home a new baby and ended up with empty arms and two holes in my heart.
I find in these last few weeks of pregnancy that the fear is beginning to creep up again. I do not want this beautiful dream to change into a fearsome nightmare yet again. I find myself over-analyzing every tiny symptom, questioning whether or not I should go in to Labor and Delivery for each little thing.
I am having to remind myself several times daily that I need to choose FAITH over FEAR. I need to hold on to the beautiful dream, and take the nightmare I fear to the Lord in prayer and leave it at His feet. I need to repeat Philippians 4:6 to myself again and again: Do NOT be anxious about ANYthing, but in EVERYthing by prayer and petition, with THANKSgiving, present your requests to God.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
FMF: Waiting in Faith
Joining in for a 5 minute Friday free-write with Kate and the gang
Prompt of the week: WAIT
GO:
I can't wait!
I can't wait until I can feel this tiny baby moving and kicking and reassuring Mama that all is well.
I can't wait until this awkward little bump grows big enough that I look pregnant and not just bloated or fat.
I can't wait to find out if June Bug, Mikayla, and Selah are getting a baby brother, or another sister.
I can't wait to be waddling around big and pregnant, complaining about back aches and cankles.
I can't wait to have a baby shower and wash all the tiny precious onesies and sleepers and itty-bitty mittens and socks.
Most of all I can't wait until a doctor places a screaming bundle of life into my arms and gives congratulations instead of condolences.
In the meantime: faith, not fear. FAITH, not fear. That is my mantra for 2015, and I repeat it to myself every time the enemy creeps in and whispers that maybe I can't trust God because after all, didn't He let me down before?
In the waiting place, FAITH, not fear.
STOP
Prompt of the week: WAIT
GO:
I can't wait!
I can't wait until I can feel this tiny baby moving and kicking and reassuring Mama that all is well.
I can't wait until this awkward little bump grows big enough that I look pregnant and not just bloated or fat.
I can't wait to find out if June Bug, Mikayla, and Selah are getting a baby brother, or another sister.
I can't wait to be waddling around big and pregnant, complaining about back aches and cankles.
I can't wait to have a baby shower and wash all the tiny precious onesies and sleepers and itty-bitty mittens and socks.
Most of all I can't wait until a doctor places a screaming bundle of life into my arms and gives congratulations instead of condolences.
In the meantime: faith, not fear. FAITH, not fear. That is my mantra for 2015, and I repeat it to myself every time the enemy creeps in and whispers that maybe I can't trust God because after all, didn't He let me down before?
In the waiting place, FAITH, not fear.
STOP
Saturday, November 8, 2014
FmF: Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Joining 5 minute Friday for 5 minutes of free-writing on the word: TURN
GO.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.
Yesterday my boss started a meeting with a devotional (I work in a Christian workplace) about trusting. It said we often fail to trust because we want answers, we want to feel in control, and we want to know what is coming next. It also said the Holy Spirit in our hearts can help us turn to Jesus and think trusting thoughts.
It definitely hit close to home, because one of my biggest struggles these past 7 months has been finding the balance between faith and action. I tell myself I trust God, but I long for and search for answers. I say I trust God, but I also look for another doctor who I can trust. I want to TRUST God, but I want to DO something to avoid future pain.
My prayers today have turned 180. I am not praying for answers or action plans today. I am praying that the Holy Spirit would help me to turn my eyes upon Jesus.
GO.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.
Yesterday my boss started a meeting with a devotional (I work in a Christian workplace) about trusting. It said we often fail to trust because we want answers, we want to feel in control, and we want to know what is coming next. It also said the Holy Spirit in our hearts can help us turn to Jesus and think trusting thoughts.
It definitely hit close to home, because one of my biggest struggles these past 7 months has been finding the balance between faith and action. I tell myself I trust God, but I long for and search for answers. I say I trust God, but I also look for another doctor who I can trust. I want to TRUST God, but I want to DO something to avoid future pain.
My prayers today have turned 180. I am not praying for answers or action plans today. I am praying that the Holy Spirit would help me to turn my eyes upon Jesus.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Day 2: Point of View
I'm back for day 2 of the 31-day writing challenge, and decided to also join Kate Motaung doing a five-minute free-write on the topic: View.
GO:
Why is it so easy for us to fix our view on the past, dwelling on what has already taken place, mulling over the "what if"s and the "if only"s. Wondering if maybe things could have, should have, would have been different if...
It's also easy to fix my view on the future, giving in to anxiety and dwelling on fears of the unknown. Fears that history will repeat itself and I will be asked to give up a baby too soon again.
Why is it so hard sometimes to view everything through the proper lens? The glasses that God wants us to put on?
Instead of wondering about and lamenting the past, I should be focusing on what I can and should be doing right now. Spending time in the word. Building relationships. Worshiping. Fishing for men. Making disciples.
Instead of worrying about and fearing the future, I should be looking toward eternity. Remembering always that this life is not the end, and my treasure must not be found here where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal and death snatches away life and seems to have the last laugh. Instead I should be building up treasure in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and thieves cannot break in a steal and where LIFE has swallowed up death in a final and decisive victory.
Lord, grant me your point of view.
STOP
GO:
Why is it so easy for us to fix our view on the past, dwelling on what has already taken place, mulling over the "what if"s and the "if only"s. Wondering if maybe things could have, should have, would have been different if...
It's also easy to fix my view on the future, giving in to anxiety and dwelling on fears of the unknown. Fears that history will repeat itself and I will be asked to give up a baby too soon again.
Why is it so hard sometimes to view everything through the proper lens? The glasses that God wants us to put on?
Instead of wondering about and lamenting the past, I should be focusing on what I can and should be doing right now. Spending time in the word. Building relationships. Worshiping. Fishing for men. Making disciples.
Instead of worrying about and fearing the future, I should be looking toward eternity. Remembering always that this life is not the end, and my treasure must not be found here where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal and death snatches away life and seems to have the last laugh. Instead I should be building up treasure in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and thieves cannot break in a steal and where LIFE has swallowed up death in a final and decisive victory.
Lord, grant me your point of view.
STOP
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