Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Just Tired

Feeling overwhelmed today. It's hot. So hot. My house is a mess. The kitchen sink is full of dishes and smells like something died in there (maybe something did?). I am still battling the roaches that decided to move into my kitchen when I had to move into bed and hubby had to move into temporary mom mode.

I feel like a rubber band stretched almost to the breaking point, ready to snap at whatever tries to stretch me the slightest bit more. Too often that is my husband. Or June Bug. Thankfully she is still young enough to think Mommy hung the moon, and forgives quickly when Mama snaps. And thankfully despite our many storms, he is still sticking it out, walking beside me as both of us looking desperately for the sun through the clouds.

I feel like my emotions have only two settings right now: off, or everything. Sometimes I go through the motions numb and half-sleep-walking through my day, just biding my time until I can crawl into bed at the end of the day. Other days the pain is welling up all through the day, tears threatening to spill out at the slightest provocation. Evening is when I let myself fall apart. Sometimes I sit at my computer while hubby is at work and June Bug is sleeping and I just weep.

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