Day 7: Sore

Day 7 of 31 Days of Healing

Well, since Day 1 when I wrote about needing to exercise more, I have indeed tried to do better with that. Last night I did 20 minutes of Pilates, and boy am I feeling it today! My legs were aching walking up and down the stairs at work, and my arms are protesting any time I lift anything heavier than a pencil today!

But one thing I have noticed since losing Mikayla, is that I find myself getting sore whenever my grief is beginning to bubble up. Even (especially?) if I haven't done any exercise or anything to cause soreness, I feel my shoulders, neck, and upper back getting tense and just aching. I think it is a physical mirror of my emotionally aching heart.

I noticed it was very bad right around Mikayla's due date, and in the beginning it would happen every Saturday afternoon through Sunday morning as I marked another week without my sweet girl. This week I was really sore on Monday even though I didn't work out Sunday or Monday.

I wish I had money to get a massage every time this happens, but instead I try to find the emotions that are building up, and put them into words either here or in my journal, or sometimes just pouring them out in prayer to God. Then I take some time to relax and focus on the many blessing that God has given me. This doesn't completely take away the physical pain, but it does help to ease it, and does wonders for the emotional side of things. Of course, a nice hot shower or a soak in the tub helps, too!