Friday, May 2, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Mess

I've been lurking on Lisa-Jo Baker's sight for a while now, and today I decided to jump right in and join the 5 minute Friday crowd and start a blog of my own. So here goes:


I feel like my whole life is mess right now. I am a mess. My emotions are a mess. All of my wonderful plans for the coming years have turned into one big mess.

Financially, I'm a mess. Behind on payments on my student loans, and almost nothing left in my checking account.

Professionally, I'm a mess. My current job is not renewing my contract, and I haven't found a new job yet and am losing hope that I will ever be gainfully employed again.

Emotionally, I am a mess. My daughter Mikayla was born straight to heaven 2 weeks and 5 days ago. I no longer have an answer for "How are you?" I don't even know. I still exist, I think. But I have no idea how I am. Everything is a tangled mess.

My house is a mess. I was on bed rest and in and out of the hospital for the past 2 months, and husbands never really keep things the way they should, but to be honest things weren't the way they should have been even before that because let's face it: I'm lazy. And now my attention span is about 20 seconds on each task and I never finish anything.

My marriage is a mess. My husband and I are both stressed about all the other messes, and instead of putting our shoulders together and cleaning up the steaming piles of messes together, we have been throwing them at each other.


Please, God. Rescue me from the mess. Wash my mess in your blood and bring me out the other side with your white robes of holiness. Thank you for loving me when all I have to offer you is my mess.

(Ok, so I cheated a little and took 8 minutes, but I didn't go back to edit anything, just couldn't stop at the 5 minutes because it needed some hope)

1 comment:

  1. I know that it has been almost a year since this post, but I thought that I would share. When I have been ridiculously overwhelmed, especially with basic things like housework, bills, etc, sometimes the best thing was to start moving.I usually started with a hot, relaxing bath where I would pray and pour out my heart to the Father until I calmed down (sometimes Bible Reading, Christian audiobook/podcasts). Then I would start planning. I love for housecleaning, since it was always just one step at a time, and I would work out a budget for all the paychecks it would take to be back on track with my bills (loved Dave Ramsey for this one). The good thing about both of those sites/books is that they are both Christians who seem to specialize in encouragement when I needed it most, especially in times of grief, or depression when I didn't know how to basically function.


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